Everything You Need to Know About Marketing I Learned from Vault-Tec University
I was supposed to start my internship with Nuka Cola when the bombs fell.
We got the call with minutes to spare. The bombs were decimating the country, and we were quickly shuffled into our pre-determined vaults. Vaults for when the inevitable happened. Vault 76, where my marketing career got put on hold.
I don’t remember much from the decades that followed. Only feelings of unease and strange gratitude that our vault felt…normal. We had heard rumors of other vaults not being the safe havens they were marketed to be, but we always thought it was just another piece of propaganda you could safely ignore.
But one day, the world opened up. Reclamation Day. Hangover in hand after the previous night’s festivities, I wandered out into the Wasteland, looking for civilization.
Surely, there would still be someone to sell Nuka Cola to.
I made my way past the laughably non-lethal robots into the new world. I searched for civilization, but all I found were scorched raiders, gangrenous ghouls, and mutated monsters I’d never seen before.
The first day almost killed me. These white-collar fingers were made to type advertising copy. Surviving in the Wasteland wasn’t on the curriculum.
